Faith conversations and remembering loved ones
A Christmas message from Japan
The older I get, the more frequently I seem to hear sad news that a family member, friend, or acquaintance has passed away. A few weeks ago, a realtor I know passed away suddenly; he was in his 40’s. A week ago, a dear uncle passed away; he was 89.
My first thoughts are: Did they know Jesus? Will I see them again in heaven?
In the case of my uncle, the answer is a resounding yes because he, my aunt, and many on my mother’s side of the family are Christians (quite rare in Japan). If my mom were still on earth she would have rushed to be with her sister; since she’s in heaven, I’m sure she was one of the first to welcome in my uncle! My brother’s family and I already had flights to spend Christmas in Japan with my dad; God made it possible to change my ticket to go to Tokyo a few days early to attend my uncle’s funeral.
What a friend we have in Jesus
At a funeral we often learn new things about our loved one. I learned my uncle’s strong faith was the source of his love for God and others. He was a music teacher and junior high school principal—possibly the most trying job in the world! His immense patience was up to the task: A fellow teacher who spoke at the service remembered how sensitive and kind he was toward a student when he returned to school after a tragic accident.
Another friend shared how devoted he was as their church’s organist. This friend recalled how my uncle would remember the anniversaries of when church members had gone to heaven by playing their favorite hymns. At his service, we sang one of his favorites, “What a friend we have in Jesus,” and we also read a few of his favorite Bible passages. Here’s one that shows his love for children and teaching:
Matthew 18:1-5 (NLT)
About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?”
Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
“And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Courage to initiate “Faith conversations”
In the case of the young realtor, I don't know if he called Jesus his friend; I don’t know his "faith status." I did a couple transactions with him; he was always positive and kind; he was an agent I looked forward to working with again. We were not so close that I ever had a "faith conversation" with him, but now I wish I had, even if it might have been awkward.
In “The God Layer” book there’s a chapter about creating opportunities for these faith conversations. I wrote it after attending another funeral—of a close co-worker, Ann. Before she passed away, she told me she believed and had accepted Jesus into her heart, so I had peace and comfort at her memorial service knowing she was now in heaven.
Yes, there’s peace and even joy at funerals of faith. We are sad for our earthly loss but glad our loved one is frolicking with Jesus. For my uncle, I envision him finally reunited in heaven with his son—my cousin, Haruo—who sadly passed away years ago. What a joyous reunion they must be having!
Don’t we want every single person we love to join us in heaven?! Don’t we want them to know the peace, love, and joy of Jesus while here on earth?
I recently took a screenshot of this photo above, posted by @greg_payne24 who wrote:
“I recently read about man who collects pictures of hitters who had hit walk-off home runs. He said that the reason he did this is because this is how he views us entering heaven.
Look at the faces of his teammates waiting to welcome him home. Look at their excitement. They can’t wait to celebrate with him.
Look at the fans. Arms raised, big smiles, maybe even hugs for a perfect stranger.
Perhaps this year is your first holiday season without someone important who is now waiting for you in heaven. Maybe it’s just another one with that big hole in your heart and an empty seat at the table. Either way, I hope you can find encouragement in this picture, what it represented to the man who collected it, and find joy this year.”
I am thankful for the Instagram algorithm for showing me this post. What a collection that must be—photo after photo of everyone cheering and waiting for their teammate to run home to win the game. Heaven will be like this but even better!
Do you know the “Faith Status” of your loved ones?
When I attend a funeral for someone who didn’t know Jesus, where the room is full of inconsolable sadness and loss, I resolve to have more courage and urgency to ask others about their “faith status.” What is their spiritual background? Did they grow up attending church? Do they believe in God? Sometimes, sadly, I hear about painful or hurtful experiences with other Christians, but I also hear many fond memories of a loving Christian in their life. If the person tells me they’re actively doing life with Jesus, it’s like gaining a new family member!
God doesn’t need our help, but He wants us to introduce Him to others. If we are open and brave enough to ask God for opportunities to have these faith conversations, He will make them happen in the right time with the right words and heart. We want all our loved ones to be with us in heaven; so does God. He desperately wants every person on earth to know and trust Him.
This week, Christmas can be a perfect topic for a faith conversation. Here’s a possible faith conversation starter question:
“What does Christmas mean to you?”
Christmas is full of Jesus’ love and light
If someone doesn’t want to hear about God just yet, we can simply love them with God’s heart of care and kindness—like my uncle did. We can seek to learn the spiritual art of knowing when to speak and when to be quiet. We can pray for the right timing to share God’s hope.
The last paragraph of the Instagram post has a thoughtful truth that Christmas can often be a lonely and sad holiday. It’s never a good time to lose a loved one, but losing someone during the holidays is especially heartbreaking. My prayers go out to the wife and sister of my realtor friend—I knew them because they worked on his team and were also in the business. I think of my aunt, now living alone. Even though she knows she will one day be reunited with my uncle and their son in heaven, waiting in this life on earth is not easy.
Is there someone around us who could use a call or text, or invite to a Christmas service? I encourage you to ask God who you can start a faith conversation with this Christmas!
I pray you are well and at peace this Christmas. May the celebration of Jesus’ birth bring you hope and joy in this season.